Multitask v. [ˈmʌltɪˌtɑːsk] to work at several different tasks simultaneously

You’re probably doing it right now — reading this blog, and watching TV, and reading for class, and responding to three emails. We all multitask. We think it saves us time and energy. We think multitasking is a point of pride, a skill to brag about on a job interview.

“Look at how admirable I am! I can do more with less!” 

The truth is, sometimes when you multitask, your work may not get the time and attention needed to do an admirable job.

Don’t believe me?

Here’s how I failed today. 

I’m a clean-cut guy who likes to groom. I’m also a bootylicious-vixen who likes to groove. These two do not mix.

I recently purchased a new electric shaver. For only $39.99, I received a trimmer AND four different trim head options. One to get your hairline nice and straight, one for “precision” to get those tight corners, one for nose and ear hair, the other for that real close finish. (Go back and read that in the Old Spice guy’s voice just for fun)

Mid-shave, “This is how we do it” came on. Girrrrllll…..

I had to stop and turn it up, do the running man, butterfly, and cabbage patch (those are dances for those of you born before 1975).

Feeling fierce, I thought I’d try out the nose/ear trimmer.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! (real monsters)

I accidentally put the precision blade on the trimmer and Edward Scissorhanded the inside of my nose!!!

This was the worst shaving incident since Britney Spears’ 2007 meltdown.

This was the worst nose-related injury since Marcia Brady got hit in the face with that football.

Listen. Take it from me. Learn from my mistakes. Focus on one thing at a time.

If not, there will be blood.

For·get·ful  \-ˈget-fəl\ adj. characterized by negligent failure to remember

I failed today.

In fact, you could probably argue I’ve failed everyday for the past month and a half because of how I totally failed to update my blog on how I failed. Oops. I forgot.

Reflecting on the last month or so, I can identify several occasions when I failed. Let me get you up to speed.

• That one time I forgot to set my alarm before my nap, woke up late, missed the bus to class and had to take a cab
• That one time I forgot to return a loaned movie to the library and had to pay a $15 fine
• That one time I forgot my ID card in H&M and had to walk all over Georgetown, backtracking my steps
• That one time I forgot to complete a work assignment and had to apologize and ask for an extension

See a trend?

To forget is to fail. Do I need more Ginkgo to help me remember? Possibly. Do I need to slow down? Definitely.

My mom used to tell me to “slow down” and take my time, but like most kids, I failed to learn from parent’s lesson. I like the feeling of being “on the go.” It makes me feel important.

Ooooh look at me! I got somewhere to be! 

But more often than not, I sprint directly to a dead-end. If only, I had taken some time, I could have arrived safely and successfully at my target destination. You ever wait to the last minute to pack for a trip? You arrive and what happens? You realize that you left your seven year old at home in the attic. [/Home Alone] 

What have I learned from this?

Stop, drop and roll. No, seriously. In decision making, in packing, in working, if I stop for a moment, think about what’s at hand, drop what I’m doing to avoid distractions–I can reflect before making a decision and then I’m ready to roll. You like that? I seriously just came up with it.

-on to the next one

pa·tience \pey-shuhns\ n. an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay

I failed today.

I don’t like waiting. Waitin’ on the world to change? Ain’t got that kind of time. Waiting for a girl like you? I’m gay. Waiting to exhale? I like breathing. Waiting for tonight? …well okay, this is my jam!

There are 24 hours in the day, half of which I spend sleeping. I can’t afford to waste a minute. The problem with this mentality is that not everyone moves at the same pace as me. Time is viewed different from person to person, culture to culture. So when these values conflict, a miscommunication can occur. In other words, a fail.

Have you ever attended a meeting at work that went on for hours, and by the end, you are not even sure what, if anything, was accomplished? After it was over, perhaps you felt like the energy had been sucked out of you like a finished Capri-Sun pouch? 

When it happens to me, I get annoyed, and impatient.

After the meeting was over, some colleagues were chatting about lunch plans and other work-related rhetoric. I proposed an idea to move this conversation to lunch and combine both business and pleasure. People were hesitant. Pondering.

What was there to think about? How long does it take to make this decision? Yes or no?

“Well I brought my lunch..” 

“Well I don’t want to go to that [restaurant] again..” 

“Well I’m not sure…” 

My enthusiasm for the adventure quickly went from excited to exhausted as my patience dwindled. “Never mind. Let’s just wrap this up and forget about lunch,” I said hastily. After I said it, I could tell those around me were taken a back. Oops.  

My patience had gotten the best of me, and I failed. 

Patience is a skill I have yet to learn. A wise man once said, ” it takes patience to learn patience.” That’s probably why I haven’t mastered it, yet. To be honest with myself, I probably never will. In an interview with Barbara Walters, First Lady Michelle Obama said she wished she could be more patient. It obviously happens to the best of us. What I need to work on is how I respond in these situations.

I did not have to react in the manner in which I did. I could have been more polite in my communication. As the old saying goes, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” A problem with patience is a problem with control. The inability to control the response time from others, made me impatient.

The only thing I can control is myself. That’s where I’ll start my journey in mastering the art of patience. With me.

Lesson learned. On to the next one.

ob·ses·sion  \uhb-sesh-uh\ n. the domination of one’s thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.

I failed today.

Author Robert Bly once said, “it is surely a great calamity for a human being to have no obsessions.”  He felt it wise to recognize one’s obsessions and learn to love them. I can do that. I’ve done that. If only I were a wealthy author…

After slothfully lying around the house most of the day, I encouraged myself to get up and take in some fresh air. The weather was warmer than it had been in weeks, and I thought if maybe I felt the sun’s vitamin D filled rays on my face, my motivation level would increase. If not, I’d just get a Georgetown Cupcake and wash it down with a glass of milk.

I threw some water on my face, grabbed my satin American Apparel track jacket, cranked up my Britney Spears playlist on my iPod, and hit the streets.

While strutting passed glacial-pace moving pedestrians on M, I caught the whiff of  something the made my heart flutter. It was sweet. It was strong. It was sexy. It was my obsession…cologne. I hadn’t thought about buying a new cologne. I had just bought a small $40.00 bottle only a month ago. But suddenly, it seemed like the only thing that mattered in the world. Oh look, a Sephora. How convenient!

I’ll just pop in and see what’s new.

There were rows and rows of new scents. Bottles shaped like fists and statues.  Light, summer scents. Strong, fall scents. Daytime scents. Nighttime scents. Calvin Klein, Tommy, YSL, Burberry. All my friends were there to greet me, and I was happy to see them.

In 15 minutes, I probably smelled about 10 different colognes. Some good, some awesome!

“Which one would you like?”, asked the sales associate.

Then reality set in. Did I really need another bottle of cologne? After all, I still had 15 half-full (I’m an optimist) bottles at home. Did I really need to spend $55 dollars on…anything right now? One of my resolutions is to be more fiscally responsible.

I looked to my right and saw the bottles looking at me. A bottle of Calvin Klein’s fragrance Obsession caught my eye. It was the first cologne I ever bought for myself. Not including the bottle of BOD I used to bathe in after gym class in high school. The bottle winked at me.

“I’ll take the YSL!”, I said enthusiastically.

The subtle, sensual, and fresh scent drove me to do it. If it had that effect on me, I wondered what effect it could have on…others.

Still, I recognize this is a major fail. Not sticking to my budget and making an impulse purchase? Weak! 

To really master this lesson, I’m going to need to find self-control.

“Self control”…that’d make for a great fragrance name wouldn’t it?